We’ve all seen them on Instagram and TikTok, those perfectly curated aesthetic feeds where someone’s entire life looks like a cohesive mood board.
Their outfits match their room, which matches their coffee cup, which matches their entire vibe.
Just effortless, intentional, and honestly kind of enviable.
But here’s the thing about finding your aesthetic, it’s not just about looking good on social media (though that’s a nice bonus).
It’s about discovering what actually speaks to you, what makes you feel like yourself, and what you’d actually want to live with every single day. Not the version of yourself people say you should be, but the version you actually are.
You don’t need to be a style guru or a millionaire to get this thing going.
Let’s break down how to actually find an aesthetic that sticks instead of just copying whatever’s trending.
The last thing you want to be is a mindless, fad following normie. Trust us.
Defining “Aesthetic”
An aesthetic is basically a cohesive visual style.
It’s the way something looks, feels, and makes you feel when you experience it.
Your personal aesthetic is the collection of colours, clothing styles, moods, and vibes that represent who you are or who you want to be. Think of it as your very own brand, and all brands need their own brand identity.
An aesthetic can be inspired by a time period (80s, vintage, retro), a mood (cottagecore, dark academia, cyberpunk), a subculture (goth, indie, grunge), a lifestyle (minimalist, maximalist, sporty), or literally anything else that resonates with you.
The key difference between just dressing well and having an aesthetic is intention.
You’re building a cohesive look that tells a story about who you are or who you want to be, not just throwing together some cute clothes. It’s the thing that ties everything together and makes people think of you the moment they see it.
Look in the Mirror
Before you start building your aesthetic, actually think about who you are and what makes you feel good.
This is the part nobody wants to do because it requires actual self-reflection instead of just scrolling for inspiration.
Ask yourself these questions:
What colours make you feel confident? What textures do you love (soft, smooth, rough, shiny)?
What’s your lifestyle actually like? Are you outdoorsy, creative, academic, social?
Do you prefer chaos or order? What music, movies, or books do you connect with?
What era or time period appeals to you? Or what emotions do you want to feel when you look at your clothes or your room?
Be honest here.
If you hate the colour pink but cottagecore aesthetic is mostly pastels, maybe cottagecore isn’t actually for you.
If you’re a messy person who stress-buys random items, minimalism is going to feel like constant punishment.
Or if you’re not actually into reading, academia is going to feel like a costume.
Pay attention to what you feel confident wearing versus what looks good but feels uncomfortable.
Confidence matters way more than perfect coordination.
An outfit that’s 80% on-brand but makes you feel like yourself beats a perfectly curated outfit that makes you feel like you’re playing dress-up.
Do Your Research (Seriously)
Now, you may be asking, “It’s just a look, why be so serious about it?”
Not all aesthetics are created equal. Goth, punk, indie, and academia aesthetics in particular are tied to subcultures with decades of history, so actually learn what it means before you adopt the look.
Goth and punk communities are particularly wary of posers who grab the aesthetic for clout without understanding the history, values, or actual subculture behind it.
These communities stand for something, and slapping on the look without the knowledge feels disrespectful and shallow.
It’s like being part of a sports club for the cool jersey but not actually knowing how to play said sport.
This isn’t gatekeeping, it’s just basic respect for communities that have been ostracised before they became “trendy” and co-opted by normies.
If you’re interested in one of these aesthetics, spend time researching.
Listen to the music, read about the history, understand what the subculture actually values.
Follow people who are genuinely part of these communities, not just Instagram influencers capitalising on the trend. The difference will be obvious, and you might find some super cool friends in the community too.
That said, aesthetics evolve.
It’s fine to take inspiration from a subculture without fully adopting it, as long as you’re respectful and informed.
Just don’t show up looking like a caricature if you can’t articulate what the subculture actually stands for.
Pull Out the Pinterest
Now, here’s where the fun comes!
Pinterest is literally designed for aesthetic hunting, so use it.
Create a secret board (or several) and start pinning everything that catches your eye.
Don’t overthink it, just save anything that appeals to you visually. Much cheaper than adding to cart too.
After you’ve saved a bunch of stuff, step back and look for patterns.
What colours appear most often? What types of clothes are you drawn to? Is there a consistent mood or vibe? What time period does your aesthetic seem to draw from? Vintage 70s, 90s minimalism, Y2K, contemporary luxury?
You’ll probably notice that you’re drawn to multiple aesthetics at once, and that’s totally fine. Most people aren’t purely one aesthetic.
You might be 60% indie sleaze and 40% girl dinner chaos, and that combination is actually what makes your style unique.
Also, go to Settings and into the Refine Your Recommendations tab and TURN OFF THE GEN AI OPTIONS. The last thing you want is a page full of AI slop and lies when you find out the “pretty outfits” do not exist.
Hunting, uh, Shopping Time!
Once you know what your aesthetic is and you’ve got your Pinterest board ready, it’s time to actually hunt down pieces.
The good news? You don’t need to spend a fortune to look fabulous.
Thrift stores are your best friend when building an aesthetic.
You can find unique pieces, try out different styles without committing to expensive purchases, and honestly, half the fun is the hunt. Just be patient and willing to dig through racks, it’s like looking for buried treasure.
When you’re shopping, think about versatility.
Build your aesthetic slowly and intentionally, and add pieces that work with things you already own.
A good aesthetic is cohesive, which means most of your pieces should work together. You shouldn’t be buying random items that look cool but don’t match anything else you own.
Aesthetic, Not Overconsumption
This is important: having an aesthetic doesn’t mean constantly buying new stuff to stay on-brand. That’s just consumerism with a filter.
A real aesthetic should be sustainable and achievable with the pieces you already have.
You should be able to mix and match items and create multiple outfits from a relatively small collection of clothes.
The goal is having a wardrobe that all works together, not having so much stuff that you never repeat an outfit.
And when it comes to rules, who cares?
If you love your cottagecore aesthetic but there’s this black leather jacket that makes you feel incredible, wear the leather jacket.
If you’re a minimalist but you found this chaotic rainbow sweater that brings you joy, rock it.
Mix and match aesthetics. Break the rules.
In the end, your style is personal.
Your aesthetic should make you feel like the best version of yourself, not make you feel like you’re performing a character all the time. The rules of any aesthetic are just guidelines, not commandments.