Falling in love is honestly one of the best highs you can get.
Your heart skips a beat when he texts, you can’t stop smiling when you’re together, and even the most boring lecture feels bearable because you’re daydreaming about your last date. Butterflies? It’s an entire park.
But here’s the thing, besties – love can make us overlook stuff that isn’t so cute.
Those “quirks” you brushed off at first? Like the constant teasing, disappearing for hours without explanation, or making jokes at your expense?
Sometimes they’re just little flaws, sure.
But sometimes, they’re red flags waving so hard you can feel the breeze.
The question is, how do you know if it’s just a bump in the road or if it’s a sign that this “love” might actually be toxic?
Let’s break it down together.
Communication: Sweet Talk or Silent Treatment?
- Healthy: He listens when you talk, respects your feelings, and doesn’t make you feel silly for being honest.
- Red Flag: He avoids serious convos, shrugs things off, or gets defensive.
- Toxic: He flips it back on you, twists your words, or makes you feel like you’re the problem for even bringing it up.
Boundaries: Respect or Possessiveness?
- Healthy: He gives you space to hang with friends, focus on studies, or just scroll TikTok in peace.
- Red Flag: He sulks if you prioritise yourself.
- Toxic: He checks your phone, demands constant updates, or guilt-trips you for wanting “me time.”
Support: Cheerleader or Competitor?
- Healthy: He hypes you up when you win, whether it’s acing an exam or nailing your OOTD.
- Red Flag: He downplays your achievements or makes “jokes” that sting.
- Toxic: He turns everything into a competition or makes you feel guilty for shining.
Effort: Shared Energy or One-Sided Chase?
- Healthy: You both put in effort – calling, texting, and making time.
- Red Flag: You’re always the one reaching out first.
- Toxic: He ghosts for days, only to pop up when it suits him (usually late at night).
Vibes: Secure or Walking on Eggshells?
- Healthy: You feel safe, comfortable, and genuinely yourself.
- Red Flag: You feel low-key anxious when you see his name on your phone.
- Toxic: You’re constantly second-guessing yourself, wondering if you’ll set him off.
Protect Your Peace, Babe
Not every red flag means you need to dump him on the spot.
Sometimes it’s about setting boundaries, talking it out, and seeing if he actually makes an effort to change.
But if the red flags start piling up and turn into a pattern? That’s not romance anymore – that’s toxicity.
Here’s your reminder: love should make you feel safe, seen, and celebrated. If you’re losing your peace, your confidence, or your happiness – it’s time to ask yourself: Love him or leave him?
Because everyone deserves the kind of love that feels like butterflies – not bruises (literal) on your soul.