I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man.
Yup, Taylor’s got a right idea with that, but the “man” part is not the only thing.
You see your friends getting promotions, getting married, buying houses, starting their dream projects. Meanwhile, you’re just trying to get through the week without losing it.
The comparison game is brutal, and it doesn’t help that social media has made it so we can see everyone’s highlight reels playing out in real time.
Oh, and let’s not forget those nosy relatives breathing down your neck every single family gathering about when it’s gonna be your turn.
And if you’re a woman? It’s somehow worse. Because not only are you expected to keep up with everyone else’s pace, but you’re also expected to do it while looking effortless, being “nice” about it, and somehow still having time to maintain perfect skin and remember your best friend’s sister’s birthday.
So let’s talk about what it actually means when you feel like you’re moving in slow motion while everyone around you is sprinting toward their dreams.
Been There, Done That
The comparison game is brutal, and social media has weaponised it.
You see your college friend who’s now a director at some fancy company; your cousin who just bought a house; your former classmate who’s travelling Europe on some influencer deal.
Meanwhile, you’re just… here. Same job as last year, same role, same routines, same struggles.
It’s not that you’re not happy for them (you probably are, and genuinely, which probably makes this feel worse).
It’s just this constant background noise of “Why aren’t you there yet? Why is everyone ahead?” You’re comparing your behind-the-scenes chaos to everyone else’s highlight reel, and the comparison is crushing.
But society doesn’t celebrate people who are just… maintaining.
We celebrate the hustle, the grind, the people who never stop.
We don’t celebrate the person who managed to shower and eat something today, even though that was genuinely an accomplishment when you’re running on empty.
The thing nobody talks about is that sometimes you’re not running slowly because you’re lazy or unmotivated.
Sometimes you’re moving at a slower pace because you’re dealing with stuff nobody sees. Mental health struggles, family obligations, financial limitations, chronic illness, trauma you’re still processing, or just the sheer exhaustion of existing in a world that wasn’t built for you.
But the narrative we’re sold is that everyone’s running the same race at the same pace, and if you’re falling behind, it’s your fault.
Is It Excuses or Nah?
Here’s where your brain tries to gaslight you.
You may start thinking: “Am I being realistic about my limitations, or am I just making excuses?” “Is this burnout or am I just lazy?” “Are other people really that much more capable, or am I just weak?”
Stop right there. This is a trap.
Whether what you’re experiencing is a legitimate limitation, burnout, depression, a chronic condition, or just you hitting your personal wall, it all deserves the same response: you need to slow down.
The “excuses vs reality” thing is a false binary that keeps you stuck.
It doesn’t matter if someone else could handle your workload while also training for a marathon and meal-prepping for the week. You’re not someone else.
You’re you, with your own capacity, your own struggles, and your own breaking point. Like actual marathoners once they reach the point they can’t in the race. They take a break from running, have a drink, and kick back up.
Everyone Should Take It Easy
Society tells you that you’re only valuable if you’re constantly achieving, constantly growing, constantly crushing goals.
We’re all supposed to be grinding, hustling, making moves, building empires.
The message is relentless: rest is for people who’ve already made it.
But your brain and your body and your mental health know better.
Everyone needs rest, recovery, and space to just breathe. Not because you’re lazy, but because you’re human.
The problem is that “take it easy” advice usually comes with fine print.
Everyone deserves to take it easy, the saying goes, except those who are “falling behind”.
Except you, who has responsibilities; except women in male-dominated fields who need to work twice as hard just to be taken seriously; and except people carrying the emotional labour of their entire family.
The asterisks keep growing until you realise that actually, the permission to rest was never meant for you.
The Bottom Line
In the legendary words of America Ferrera in the Barbie movie, “You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.”
But what if it isn’t?
You’re allowed to walk than run. You’re allowed to take longer to achieve things.
Most importantly, you’re allowed to rest, to struggle, to fall behind the imaginary timeline everyone’s racing against. You’re just not allowed to use any of that as an excuse to hate yourself.
So walk. Rest. Do what you need to do to keep yourself functioning.
And stop feeling guilty about it.
The world didn’t end because you couldn’t run, and it won’t end now. But you might actually get to live your life instead of just surviving it.
And that’s worth a lot more than any finish line. You’ve got this, babes!