Finding love these days feels like trying to find a parking spot in Bangsar on a Saturday afternoon: possible, but only if you’re patient, alert, and a little lucky.
Everyone’s everywhere – swiping, ghosting, breadcrumbing (which apparently is a thing) and sometimes, it feels like no one’s really ready.
The last thing we want is to get entangled with people we shouldn’t be with.
So, before we dive into the butterflies and the “maybe he’s the one” spiral, let’s start with the basics.
Rule number 1: Be a girl’s girl. Someone else’s partner, husband, or situationship is a no-go zone! Full stop.
Always make sure they’re single, emotionally available, and not just “technically free on weekends.” You deserve a love that’s uncomplicated, not a secret mission.
Now that we’ve got the foundation clear, here’s your reality-checked guide to navigating that all-important first date, where forever might (or might not) begin.
The Dos
Do your homework (lightly): A little digital digging never hurt anyone. Make sure the person you’re meeting is who they say they are, and more importantly, as we have said – that they’re single. We’ve all heard stories. Google is your friend.
Do show up as the real you: If you hate hiking, don’t suddenly become an outdoor girl. If you love spicy food, own it. If you’re the type that still cries over High School Musical, say it proudly. The right person will find your quirks charming.
Do pick a safe, comfortable space: Think cafes, brunch spots, or somewhere public. You want to feel relaxed, not trapped. Plus, if the date turns into a ‘situation’, you can exit gracefully.
Do pay attention to how they make you feel: Ticking boxes is great but at the end of the day it’s about whether you feel safe, seen, and comfortable. A spark is fun, but peace of mind is priceless.
Do be honest, with them and yourself: If you like them, say it. If you don’t, don’t fake it. Being polite doesn’t mean leading someone on. And if you feel the vibe isn’t right? That’s not failure – that’s clarity.
The Don’ts
Don’t treat it like an audition: You’re not auditioning to be chosen, you’re seeing if you want to choose them. Let go of that pressure to perform. You are on a date – where people are attracted to each other, so treat it like one.
Don’t overshare or trauma-dump: You don’t need to unpack your whole emotional archive on date one. Keep it light, real, and conversational. There’s time to reveal layers once trust builds.
Don’t ignore red flags because they’re charming: If they speak badly about their ex, interrupt you, or is rude to the waiter – find your nearest exit. That’s a preview of their true colours. And if they show you something about them you don’t like now, you won’t find it “endearing” in ten years – no matter how much you try.
Don’t date someone unavailable: Check on their availability – emotionally, mentally, AND legally. If they’re not single, they’re not yours to fix, save or steal. Protect your peace and another woman’s too.
Don’t ghost if you can be kind: Not your forever kind? A simple, respectful message goes a long way. We all deserve closure, even the awkward kind.
Love Isn’t Complicated; People Make It That Way
First dates aren’t about perfection (because nobody is). They’re about honesty.
Finding love in this era is tricky, but it doesn’t have to be messy.
Always remember, love is kind.
It takes work, yes, 100% – but it should never enslave you.
Love is peaceful even on the worst days.
A good love isn’t about chasing drama or proving your worth.
It’s about showing up, feeling safe, and knowing you’re chosen everyday, all day.
So when you’re out there meeting someone new, remember this: the right love won’t drain you, it won’t exhaust you, it’ll steady you.
All the best to my favourite girls!